Exemplification Revisions
Hey guys and gals,
Please submit your revision of your partner’s paper here as an attachment. Please answer at least the following questions either within the rough draft or at the bottom of the paper, and please number your answers so readers can see what answers go with what questions. Some of the questions must be answered within the paper, so those answers will need to be submitted as a comment within the paper. To submit a comment in a paper on Word, simply hit the review tab at the very top of your screen and then click on new comment. Make sure your cursor is wherever you want to insert that comment before clicking new comment.
Please do not answer just yes or no on these questions-you need to elaborate as best as you can (like you would talking to the person in the classroom) so that they understand what you think needs to be changed to make the paper better.)
1. Is the paper long enough? Count the pages and make sure before you even start reading. If it’s not, be thinking about suggestions to give the writer on how the paper can be lengthened and provide them with those suggestions after reading the entire paper.
2. Does the title grab your attention? Is it interesting? If the answer to either of these questions is no, suggest a new title.
3. Is there a hook? Is it interesting? If not, is there another way the writer can add a more interesting hook? If so, give him or her a suggestion as to how.
4. Is there an effective bridge? If not, what can they do to make it more effective?
5. Underline the thesis. (NOTE: You must underline the last sentence of the intro paragraph since this must be the thesis!) Does this sentence tell you the topic of the paper, the writer’s stance on that topic, and the points or reasons as to why they have that stance? Can you read this one sentence and know what the rest of the paper will discuss? (This last question might have to be answered after you’ve read the entire paper.)
6. Now read the topic sentences only in order. Do these sentences follow the order of the points presented in the thesis? Do they provide you with the topic, the stance, and the one reason from the thesis that the paragraph discusses? Can you read that one sentence and know exactly what that paragraph is about?
7. Now read each body paragraph separately. Do they follow TEAL? Is there analysis after each piece of evidence? Is there a clear link to the thesis at the end that clearly ends the paragraph and sums up how the point in the topic sentence has been proven?
8. Now look at the conclusion. Is the thesis restated in a way to show that the idea has been proven? Is the paper ended effectively for you as a reader? Is the “so what question” answered (it must be answered for anyone who would read that paper, not just the class as the audience)?
9. Are all citations done correctly? Is there a Works Cited page? Do the entries on the Works Cited match the in-text citations?
10. Go into the paper and mark THREE places with a plus sign to show where the writer used good, effective detail or examples. Then, tell the writer what you liked about what they did after each plus mark.
11. Go into the paper and mark THREE places with a minus sign to show the writer where improvement is needed. Then, tell the writer what might be done to improve that section.
12. Last, tell the writer the one thing that you liked most about the paper. Please be as specific as possible! Remember, the more help you give them, the better their paper will be!
One last thing-you will be getting a grade on this assignment, so you need to take it seriously and revise it as best as you can. If you do not follow the directions, answer all of the questions, or fully answer all of the questions, you will not get the full points on this assignment.
