Peer Tess

Can attachment theory explain abusive romantic relationships? If so, how? If not, why?

Attachment theory can play a role in romantic relationships, and also explain the abuse or disagreements that occur in particular pairings of adults with various attachment styles. As Bretherton (1992) touched on in her article, there have been numerous studies that aim to transmute Ainsworth’s infant-mother attachment patterns into corresponding adult patterns. In one study that conducted interviews with various adults about their childhood and development, distinct patterns were identified that classified the participants into three groups: autonomous secure, preoccupied, and dismissive (Bretherton, 1992). This indicated that attachment styles that were formed in childhood were still influential in how that adult operated later in life, even in their interactions with their own children (Bretherton, 1992). In another study on adult attachment styles in relationships, the results indicated that adults who fell into one of the three categories of secure, avoidant, or ambivalent in their romantic relationships reported differing patterns of parent-child relationships in their families of origin (Bretherton, 1992). These patterns of parent-child relationships correlated with which attachment category the adult fit into later in life in regard to their romantic relationships (Bretherton, 1992).

The premise of attachment theory is that interactions with important figures in a child’s life, particularly in the infancy stage, shape how individuals perceive themselves and their world (Campbell & Stanton, 2019). These internal working models guide both perceptions and behaviors about what relationships should be like – romantically and otherwise (Campbell & Stanton, 2019). In adult romantic situations, the attachment styles developed in childhood typically become secure, anxious, or avoidant, meaning that the person either exhibits healthy forms of attachment to their partner, attachments focused on proximity and attention, or deactivating strategies that seek to inhibit support from their partner, depending on which category they fit into (Campbell & Stanton, 2019). The basis of attachment is trust; in childhood it begins with trust in a caregiver and in adulthood that trust gets redirected to a partner. A person with anxious or avoidant attachment has experienced broken trust in their childhood, which makes trust difficult in adulthood, especially with those they are supposed to be able to count on for support (Campbell & Stanton, 2019). Thus, when people of varying attachment styles enter into relationships in adulthood, their trust (or lack thereof) can either bolster or inhibit the relationship. For example, a relationship between two people, one of whom has an anxious attachment, and the other an avoidant attachment, will handle disagreements quite differently, which is the basis for problems in the relationship. While the anxious person seeks affirmation and affection from their partner, while fearing that their partner will abandon them, the avoidant person disengages from their partner and disassociates as a form of self-protection. If this situation continues to repeatedly occur, it builds resentment in the relationship and causes further turmoil, with both partners potentially eventually feeling manipulated and emotionally abused.

References

Bretherton, I. (1992). The Origins of Attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology, 28(5), 759–775. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.28.5.759

Campbell, L., & Stanton, S. C. (2019). Adult attachment and trust in romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 148–151. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.08.004